I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
