the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
