There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
