i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
