coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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