Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
