Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize