There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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