awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
