I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
