so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
