There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
