it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
