Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
