Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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