Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize
