I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He has the fingertips of a God
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
