look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize