just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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