i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
