Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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