Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
