I wish I could punch you in the face.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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