Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she peed on how many people?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize