i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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