you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize