No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
