I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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