There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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