oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
