This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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