not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
