ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
