when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
