When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I touched a dick in church today
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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