Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
