They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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