i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
