Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think I am morally bankrupt
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
