I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
