It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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