I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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