just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just pee around me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize