Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
