So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
