I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sober January is a disaster.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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