And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
