At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
