Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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