it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This baby is an asshole
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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