& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
