Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drake has all the answers
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
