drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize