all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
