Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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